To Induce Labor

You can try anything. Spicy food, fresh pineapple, sex till your varicose vein ridden vagina gives up. Labor will start whenever it darn well pleases.

I know this. But still, I'm trying all kinds of things to get this party started. I'm tired of being pregnant, tired of being tired, tired of being distended, and insanely excited to meet this baby.

So far, I've tried:

pineapple ('fresh' isn't really available up here)

sex

Evening Primrose Oil

5W herbs (just started these)

Nipple Stimulation (using a breast pump)

Exercise (my walking is voluntarily restricted until the temperature rises)

All I've gotten is prodomal labor. The abysmal realization that my body knows what to do, knows how to do it, is well aware of what I want it to do, and is not acquiescing. Request DENIED.

*sigh*

I suppose I'll just have to wait.